i'm gonna miss you

rainy days make me think about when i was younger.

i was just listening to jon foreman's song "learning how to die." when i was nine or ten i remember my dad talking to my mom about his getting his last will and testament written up. both of them talking about dying really scared me.

i've changed a little since then. i'm more at peace about the end.
something that seems to me a little scarier than death is growing apart from those who you share so much history with. do you remember the toy story movies? they deal with the thought of death and the difficulty of moving on. remember the scene in toy story 2 when jessie's owner grows older and looses interest in her dolls. jon foreman's song and scenes from movies like that makes me feel bad about the friends that i've grown apart from. it's a dreary feeling; like rain.

at the same time this feeling excites me. not because of what i might have grown apart from and lost, but i feel excited about making new memories and reliving past joys and excitements. it makes me happy to think about the past because i can always share the good feelings that i experienced then with those that i care about today.

i love it when it rains, you should too.